He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
I'm really busy with my period
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