I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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