Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Randomize
