sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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