girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
