All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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