lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Me. At least after what I've been through.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
