is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
he thought i was a dude.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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