Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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