You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
