She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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