I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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