i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Are we still banned from the library?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
