Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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