it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
