I would go down on you faster than GM stock
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
