I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
