He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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