I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
