he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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