I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
