Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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