i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
