haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
