My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I love having hate sex.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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