trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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