you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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