i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize