She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
This is not my ceiling
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
