My hand turned me down
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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