Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
