Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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