every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
