ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
