dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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