We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words: eviction party
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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