4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I feel like abortions should bother me more
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Randomize
