It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
