I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
