Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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