for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
