If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
