just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I want to be your penis for a week.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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