he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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