i just wanna soil my oats bro
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
