I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
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There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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