I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
so let's talk penis.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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