if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
