if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
