Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
