he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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