Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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