I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
