I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
