There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Randomize
