Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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